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There are many definitions for Positive Parenting and I just want to say that I want to practice Positive Parenting. I also want to make it clear that I am NOT a perfect parent. I make mistakes daily and I try to learn from them.
This post is about Communication with your child and why It is important. I hope you enjoy the read 🙂
Communicating with our children can be a difficult task at times. We feel like they’re not listening to us; they feel like we’re not listening to them. Good listening and communications skills are essential to parenting. Your child’s feelings, views, and opinions have worth, and you should make sure you take the time to sit down and listen openly and discuss them honestly. Now, with that said I also know that not ALL of their thoughts and feelings can be discussed because we only have 24 hours in each day. Right, Mama? But, I do believe that as parents we can pick out those important feelings, and opinions each day and have a “teaching moment” with our children.
By being sensitive to our child’s feelings and emotions we are showing them love and understanding. And, allowing them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of repercussion from us is key to creating a great communication relationship. By reacting negatively to our child’s feelings, we send our child the message that their feelings and opinions don’t matter. But by responding and asking questions about why our child feels that way, it opens a dialog that allows us to discuss their feelings further and allows you a better understanding of where they’re coming from. Responding also gives you an opportunity to work out a solution or a plan of action with your child that perhaps they would not have come up with on their own. Your child will also appreciate the fact that maybe you do indeed understand how they feel.
It’s crucial in these situations to give your child your full and undivided attention. Put down your newspaper, stop doing dishes, or turn off the television so you can hear the full situation and make eye contact with your child. Keep calm, be interested, and afterward offer potential solutions to the problem.
Don’t discourage your child from feeling upset, angry, or frustrated. Our initial instinct may be to say or do something to steer our child away from it, but this can be a detrimental tactic. Again, listen to your child, ask questions to find out why they are feeling that way, and then offer potential solutions to alleviate the bad feeling.
Just as we do, our children have feelings and experience difficult situations. By actively listening and participating with our child as they talk about it, it demonstrates to them that we do care, we want to help and we have similar experiences of our own that they can learn from.
Here are a few books about communication and listening.
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide
- Learning to Listen, Learning to Care: A Workbook to Help Kids Learn Self-Control and Empathy
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